The following is a conversation I had with a client. Yes, she gave me permission to use her situation in order to help with an unfortunately popular issue among women who are dating or dealing with their boyfriends. The names have been changed to protect their identity.
Hey Leela. How are you? – Tarot Reader
I’m hurtin’. I’m not going to lie. – Client
Why? What happened? – Tarot Reader
It’s Jacob. Everything was going great. We got so close and he just stopped communicating. Like I could feel something was wrong before he stopped cuz the way he text was not his usually loving self. I just don’t know what to do. – Client
Have you asked him what was going on? -Tarot Reader
Yes. Well, at first, I tried to get him to talk to me over the phone or have him come over so we can discuss it face to face, but he avoided me. So, I text him and said I was triggered by him not communicating with me and I’m concerned about our distance. I told him if something came up for him and if he wants to talk to me about that I would be here for him. He didn’t respond.
Wow. Just went ghost like that? – Tarot Reader
Yeah. I cried because it just made me feel like something was wrong with me. Maybe, I’m a hopeful romantic and want to see something that isn’t there. He said all that sweet stuff to me. He’s the one that said “I’m all yours” several times and confessed that he truly cared for me. He was always mushy and saying sweet stuff to me all day and every day. – Client
Don’t let it get to you. Put your head up. Shake it off. You will find some one that won’t just walk away when things get tough. As far as I can see in the cards, he is dealing with some stress at home (9 of swords) or work (8 of Pentacles Reversed) and didn’t want you to know (Page of Swords Reversed). – Tarot Reader
I’m trying. You told me last time I called you that he’s dealing with emotions from his ex wife (King of Cups Reversed), he’s stressed out at work. You said that he will contact me this Saturday, but why would I want someone that would just ghost me? Not a word. Not even, “I’m sorry I can’t talk to you right now, I’m going through some things. I will get back with you when I can.” Cuz that to me would be respectful or at least considerate. It’s not like I gave up sex to him and now he got what he wants. All we did was kiss. – Client
I get it. It seems to me you guys got really close in a short time (2 of Cups). He was able to be vulnerable with you about his feelings and probably never had that experience before (Ace of Cups). More feelings for you developed and he got scared thinking about how his ex wife had hurt him (6 of Cups Reversed and 3 of Swords). Instead of facing it he just dropped the ball (Emperor Reversed). I understand you not wanting to talk to him after he hasn’t communicated in 3 days but consider that it may be an opportunity to get some closure so when the next guy comes you won’t sabotage it with this hurt you are experiencing. – Tarot Reader
Yeah. A part of me wants to just lay some rules down and then try again slowly. But to be honest I told him upfront that I have to have consistent communication. We both discussed that if there was a problem that we would talk to each other about it first before it festers. It’s like that entire week of deep conversation was a waste of time. Like I was talking to myself. – Client
A part of you wants control. (Queen of Swords Reversed) You think if you can control the situation things will be better the next round. But the truth is, as Maya Angelou says, “People will show you who they are. Believe them the first time.”
If he has issues with old emotions popping up, stress in his life or any other problems, that has nothing to do with you. It’s way too early for you to have to deal with his baggage. I understand you guys got close and you want to have a relationship with him, but things that are this deep, where it causes you stop talking to someone you have feelings for, takes a long time to recover from. It may take him another year or longer. Let me add, it also depends on how he approaches you on Saturday. For instance, if he comes to you playing like nothing happen. NO. That’s not cool. So, you might have to say your good-bye to him. But, if he comes to you and says, “Hey Leela, I really am sorry for disappearing like that. I was so stressed out and dealing with old emotions that I couldn’t even think straight. I’d like to try again, if you allow me to and discuss a possible future with you. Also, I want to make this up to you. I know I hurt you and I will do my very best never to do it again.” From what I can see in the cards, it could be either situations (Page of Cups).
Now, that’s a man that is willing and ready for change. Not the first response. The first one, is a person that is in denial and will keep stepping back when life gets too hard. – Tarot Reader
So, basically I might have to let him completely go Saturday. I understand. – Client
Well, what do you want? Like, if you can have anything you want at all from the relationship between you and Jacob what would it be? – Tarot Reader
I’d want that second response that is empathetic to how I feel. I’d want a straight up answer on what happened and why. I also would like to have a deep love connection with him in a healthy and long term relationship. I mean, I thought that is what I created originally when he showed up. There was so much chemistry and attraction it blew us both away. So, I thought ok..this is what I asked for. – Client
Ok, If you knew right now, that this long and healthy relationship is what was going to happen between the two of you in the near future, how would you respond to him on Saturday? – Tarot Reader
I’d still address my concerns but not in a controlling way like I was thinking I would from the beginning. I’d approach him with much more kindness and nurturing because heck…we all have been triggered before. And, I personally been triggered and stressed out to the point where I stopped talking to my friends for a week. – Client
Right, and good for you for seeing this at a different angle and willing to be a nurturing guide for him while he is dealing with these ‘new emotions’.
You told me that he hasn’t been with anyone in 3 years! Just imagine, all that time, no affection, no good conversation, no nurturing, no hot woman desiring you….I mean nothing! On top of that feeling lonely and starting to feel you will never find anyone again. Then all of a sudden you meet this beautiful person inside and out. Like, you got to pinch yourself to wake up because it feels like you are dreaming. Your last relationship, although 3 years ago, was a nightmare all the way to the end. So, to your surprise this person is easy – no drama …just straight goodness. Wouldn’t you eventually be hesitant? It just pulls at your heart strings. He might need some time to adjust to such a huge contrast.
Now, I’m not saying he’s right for what he did. Yes, he could have been like, “ok..I need some time to figure out my emotions. I’ll text you when I’ve figured it out.” But, he didn’t. I’m just saying be compassionate to what is going on in another person’s life. Don’t allow this experience to turn you into someone you’re not- cold or worst, a narcissist. You’ll just end up carrying that and destroying anything that is possibly good in your future.
To end your confusion, it’s simple. Right now, concentrate on being the best of yourself – that nurturing and kind person you are. Rather he comes straight out and says he apologizes with details or he plays off like nothing happened, you must be your best. You might have to be ready to tell him that you can’t see him anymore because you deserve better and you do! You deserve a man that has already handled his “demons” or at least willing to work them all out with you. Either way, you walk away with confidence and with your head up not in pain or regret. – Tarot Reader
Would you like a love reading from a professional that will tell you what is about to happen AND tell you what to do about it? Go here: https://getyourtarot.com/readers